In my not too many years on this big ball of matter called Earth, I have been faced with quite a number of challenges. But the year 2016 was easily one of the toughest years of my life. I was faced with a challenge that affected every aspect of who I was – who I thought I was.
It was a real blow in my face, particularly because it was unanticipated; not that challenges are typically anticipated anyway. It was a period that tested everything I believed in. Back then, I would occasionally feel my heart palpitating abruptly from fear. Oh, the evil that is fear. Dear reader, there are challenges and there are Challenges.
Have you ever been enveloped in sadness for months unending? Have you ever had a year that was just challenging all through? And you couldn’t wait for it – the entire year to be over? Like can we just throw the whole year away? This was me that year. I can smile about it now but there was nothing funny about those quandaries back then.
The best part was that everyone – well almost everyone, thought I was doing great. I’m not really one to wear my problems outwardly although I think that a discerning mind could have seen beyond the guise. I was also making preparations for my wedding that year so I should have been doing great, shouldn’t I? How could I not be when I had a whole beautiful life ahead of me? But no, the tunnel was still pitch-dark even though I was already at the end of it.
I don’t know where you’re at right now but if you’re currently (or have ever been) at a difficult place, you know what I’m talking about. You may feel like life isn’t fair to you and you may just feel like throwing in the towel. You may even be on the verge of losing the things that matter to you, or you may have already lost someone or something that mattered to you. Be encouraged today.
Real quick, I am going to note a couple of things I’ve learnt about life’s tough moments
Challenges are bound to happen. Most of us already know by now that life is not exactly a breeze. We have had challenges and we likely still will. Challenges may vary from person to person and they’re not always a function of who has been a good girl or not. Some sweet things will happen to us, and some others, not very much so. You know how they say life is a journey filled with different twists and turns. Some days will be amazing – you’d wish they could go on forever, but there’ll also be those days that you want to by-pass like a whirlwind. It’s sad but that’s the bitter-sweet pattern of life. It’s okay to have this at the back of our minds but it does not mean that when things are going well, we should go around awaiting our next adversity. It means that we should live in every moment and make the best use of our sunny days.
Our experiences and challenges significantly mould us. In the popular but ancient gold refining tradition, raw gold would pass through blazing hot fire to melt and form molten gold. Thereafter, it would solidify and emerge as refined gold. In this context, the raw gold can be likened to us, the searing fire that melts the gold – the challenges we face as well as the lessons we learn from them, and the refined gold to us again only this time we are different, hopefully better. The refining process is hard. I’m not a fan of it myself but it does carry potential of making us better in the long run. I have also noticed that it is easier for someone who has experienced a certain challenge to bring comfort to another person going through a similar issue than if otherwise. So while it may be the most difficult thing at the point where it pans out, it does make us stronger and in better capacity to be there for other people.
‘This too’ may not pass. Tough hard fact. ‘This too shall pass’ is probably one of our all-time favourite sayings. In some cases, this will pass for example a pregnant person who is at her wits end knows that the phase of being with child will be over in nine/ten months – although it typically feels like around twenty years. However, some things will not particularly pass for instance the loss of a loved one (except if this too shall pass somehow implies that a feeling of pain or lack of strength will wear off over time, but I’m not sure if this is the implied meaning of that saying). From personal experience, there are times when that situation will just not disappear, you are only equipped with grace and strength to brave the circumstance. The idea is that we will become stronger through it all.
Find gratitude in the midst of your storm. One of the hardest things to do when you are weathering storms is to give thanks. Give thanks in all things, we are told. But for what now? Honestly, it even seems impossible sometimes. But, the truth is that it could have been worse. As long as you have air in your lungs and you are still breathing, you are at a vantage position of some sort and that is something to be thankful for. As bad as you think you have it, you will be surprised to know that somebody somewhere is wishing they could be in your shoes for just one minute. Seeing things with a view of gratitude is such a game changer.
Draw strength from other people. I hope that you find a shoulder to lean on at your trying times. During these moments in our life, it’s a real treasure to have even one person there for us. It doesn’t mean that they can take away our pain -they really can’t, but it helps to have them there. You could use a mature friend, mentor, spiritual leader or even your partner. Be careful who you confide in though, not everyone is graced with maturity to handle weighty issues just yet. Sometimes we feel better talking to no one or perhaps a stranger out of the fear of feeling judged. And that’s okay too. But I recommend talking to someone when you feel ready.
**Side bar: Just in case you are going through a lot right now and you do need of someone to talk to or just pray with you, what is the point of this post and entire website if you leave feeling the same way? Feel free to reach out to me using the contactoption in this blog.
You really are not alone. I know that feeling of being ‘on your own’ as you crumble under the weight of a leaden cross. It’s a cross nobody else can carry for you, that’s why it is ‘your circumstance’. I get that. You may not know where to turn to and all you hear is a deafening silence round about you. Even God is silent. He seems to be busy fixing other people’s lives. I would like to remind you that you are not alone. Never have. Never will be. He is with you and He sees your troubles. And guess what? That grace is available and sufficient to carry you through – yes, even if your pain is self-inflicted. He loves and cares for you, despite how you feel right now. Of this, I’m sure.
Hold on tight. The world is waiting; indeed we all are, for you to overcome and tell your story.
Leave a Reply